Guilty
by Whammy
Summary: "How demented was my heart? I tormented this girl until she had an eating disorder and now I liked her?" Kitty attempts to win not only Marley's trust, but also her heart. Karley.
1. Chapter 1

It was all my fault.

Sure, we sang a song together to say it would all be okay, but what good did that really do? Marley was sick and it was because of me. A song wasn't going to change that.

I swear, I didn't mean for it to be this way.

I really didn't. I wanted to punish Marley, but I didn't think... I didn't think is it. I was so clouded by my vision of what the school was supposed to look like- cheerleaders in charge and cute boys willing to do whatever we wanted. Marley threatened that vision, so I had to make her pay.

This is how I've acted my whole life. Other people were simply obstacles to my path to success. I always found a way to get what I wanted. Both my parents are lawyers. They are cut-throat and willing to do anything to win a case. I guess I learned it from them. When I was 8, my 3rd grade class had an election for class president. I told my classmates that Nolan Reed still wet the bed and a vote for him was a vote for a baby. I won by a landslide. My parents were so proud, and continued to tell the story at family functions for years to come. They asked me what I wanted for such good work and I asked for a puppy. They got me a black lab and I named him Gunner. He has been my best friend ever since.

When I made the Cheerios, I got a car.

My parents encouraged my behavior, never questioning my lack of friends, but instead praising my strength as an individual. They saw success as the numbers in their bank account. They were always working; the only time they let themselves relax was at dinner. I could always count on this time to see and talk to them. They would diligently listen to the events of my day and eventually give me whatever advice they thought I needed. It typically sounded something like this:

"Don't ever let anyone hold you back, sweetheart," my mom always advised.

"Your mother's right. And don't forget, you can always do better," my dad would add.

I would nod, and list my goals to my parents, get smiles of approval before they headed to their separate studies to work on whatever cases they needed to.

They aren't bad parents; they provide everything I needed and always find time to support me in my extra-curriculars. Sure, they're on their phones sending emails and reading reports most of the time, but at least they're there. I know they loved me, and will always be there if I needed something. But I can't help but feel that something's missing.

My parents never taught me what love is.

Instead, I had grown up seeing other people as in the way, and if I didn't take advantage of them first, they would take advantage of me.

"It's a dog eat dog world, dear," my father insisted. Maybe that's why I had been called Kitty as long as I could remember.

I tried to understand love through movies, but they always portrayed women as so careless and reliant on men. I was smart and didn't need anyone to take care of me. So, I still didn't understand. I never felt those butterflies in my stomach around boys, so I thought they simply had to be wrong. I decided movies are fake and real love is more like compatibility. In college, I would find someone I got along with and would make a lot of money. Until then, boys were simply an accessory to heighten my status as HBIC. I focused my attention on football players and bad boys since they would do the most for my reputation.

When Marley Rose entered the halls of McKinley High, head high, eyes full of kindness and innocence, stealing the attention of both Jake and Ryder, I knew she had to be stopped. But, no matter how much I ridiculed her mom and her Walmart clothes, that smile just kept coming back. It was so frustrating. Even slushies couldn't stop her.

She was invincible.

Or so I thought. In a moment of evil genius, I exposed her greatest weakness- her weight. I altered her Sandy costume and introduced her to bulimia (which I _swear_ I only did a couple of times freshman year to lose my baby fat). She lost her vigor; dark bags formed under her eyes and she lacked the energy to be the happy person I had first met. I won. Ryder even asked me out.

But it didn't mean anything. The instant she fell on the stage, I felt a wave of nausea come over me; I felt guilty. I could barely stammer out an answer when Santana rightfully blamed me for it. Tears were forming in my eyes and I felt an apology burning in my throat. I couldn't stop looking at Marley, trying to make sure she was okay. My fists had balled up in frustration. But I didn't do anything. When Coach announced our loss to the Warblers, I calmly walked out of the choir room and down the hall to the Cheerios locker room. I sat down on the first wooden bench I could find and finally let myself cry.

I screamed and punched the metal locker doors. I tore around the room, yelling at myself every time I saw my reflection in a passing mirror. I knew my parents would be waiting for me, so I didn't have much time. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that I could do _anything_, including fix this, before heading out to the parking lot.

My parents were already in the car, waiting for me. When they saw me walking towards them, they honked to signal me to hurry up. I lightly jogged to the car and climbed into the back seat. I had barely buckled into my seat when the car began to move towards our house.

"Is that girl alright?" my dad asked, eyes popping up towards the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, she was just nervous," I lied. I was glad it was dark and he couldn't see my tear-streaked face.

"I always hated group activities. One person can ruin it for everyone. I know you worked so hard, sweetheart," my mom responded. She didn't bother to look at me, her eyes fixated on her phone.

"It wasn't her fault. She was under a lot of pressure," I defended. I wanted so badly to confess that it was my fault, but I didn't want to disappoint my parents. I played with the hem of my dress in an attempt to distract myself.

"No excuses, you should always be at your best," my father lightly scolded. Any attempt to convince him otherwise would be futile, so the rest of the ride home was silent. When we pulled into the garage, I jumped out of the car, not even waiting for my dad to finish parking. I swiftly ran up the stairs and into my room. I shut the door behind me and knew my parents wouldn't ask any questions.

I slid down the length of my door, unsure of what to do.

I knew I had to apologize to Marley, but I didn't know how. Apologizing was for the weak and sorry was not a part of my vocabulary. I pulled out my phone wondering if I should call Marley or text her. A call was more personal, but I didn't know if I could handle hearing her cry anymore. So, I settled on a text. It wouldn't be an apology just yet, but the most I could manage. This was a big step for me, okay?

_Me: I hope you're okay._

As I anxiously awaited her response, I heard Gunner whining at the door. I threw my phone on my bed and stood up to let him into my room. It was then that I realized I hadn't changed out of my sectionals outfit. I mindlessly took of my shoes and then pulled the dress over my head. Gunner lied down at the end of my bed and waited for me. He was no longer an energetic puppy, but now a loyal and understanding dog. I found a hanger in my closet and put my dress on it and away. I crossed the room to find something to sleep in, and was pulling into a pair of shorts on when I heard my phone vibrate. I tried not to fall as I ran towards my phone. I held my breath as I opened the message.

_Marley: How could I be? I ruined everything. _

I sat down on my bed, unsure of what to say. Instead of responding, I wrapped my arms around Gunner and began to cry. Marley didn't deserve to feel bad about something I caused. Marley didn't deserve to feel bad about anything. All Marley deserved to feel was happiness. And I took that away from her because I was jealous.

I had never felt so sorry in my life. Not when I told my parents I hated them for leaving me an only child, or even when I forgot to feed Gunner one day when I was sick. I didn't understand why I cared so much about Marley. She was nobody. We sang a song together once, which I guess was pretty good, and I made her bulimic. That was about it.

I asked myself what I always do when times are hard, "What would Quinn Fabray do?" but I couldn't think of an answer. Thankfully, she had given me her number when she was mentoring me, so I called her without hesitation. I petted Gunner to calm my nerves while I waited for her to pick up.

"Hello?" she answered after four rings.

"Hi Quinn, this is Kitty," I paused, unsure how to phrase what I needed ask. "I need some advice. If you have time that is," I said, biting my lip.

"What's up?" she asked.

"As you know, Marley fainted during our Sectionals performance today, disqualifying us," I began, confident.

"Yeah?" Quinn questioned, clearly puzzled.

I took a deep breath before responding, my voice softer than usual. "Well, what Santana said about me might have been right."

I could only imagine her disappointment in me. This was stupid. I should never have called my idol for advice; I was clearly letting down her legacy by caring for a loser like Marley. But I couldn't shake the feeling that she would know what to do.

It was quiet for about a minute before I whispered, "I've never felt so bad about anything in my whole life."

"Oh, Kitty," she sighed. "Have you talked to her?"

"I texted her to make sure she was alright and she said she ruined everything. She doesn't even blame me," I exclaimed, exasperated.

If Marley blamed me, she could at least put some of the pain on me. I could take it for her. I was strong.

"No, she wouldn't. You can fix this, but you're going to have to do some things you don't like," she warned.

"Anything," I responded.

When Quinn and I hung up, I felt much better. I remembered I still hadn't texted Marley back. Part of Quinn's advice was for me to prove to Marley that I'm changing and to show her that I do care.

_Me: Everything will be better soon. I promise. _

I padded into the bathroom and washed all the tear strained make-up off my face. The warm water felt nice on my puffy face.

"Tomorrow is a new day, a new Kitty," I told my reflection.

When I returned to my bed, I saw I had another text. I hadn't expected Marley to respond, so I was a little nervous. I crawled into bed before opening it, preparing for the worst.

_Marley: Never make a promise you can't keep._

A smile crept up on my face.

_Me: I promise to keep all the promises I promise you. :)_

I reached over Gunner to turn off the light on my bedside table. I didn't know what it was, but my body felt warm and light. I tried to tell myself it was the exhaustion, shutting out any idea that it could be something more.

* * *

Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you all are enjoying to so far! Without further ado, I present chapter 2...

* * *

The next week of school was weird. The New Directions disbanded and everyone joined different clubs. Well, everyone except Marley. I didn't get to see her much because Coach Sylvester was making us do twice our normal practices to ensure we didn't lose our national title like the glee club. It wasn't until Thursday night, when we all got together to sing an uplifting song, that I really saw Marley.

A song wasn't going to fix what I did. Sure, Marley loved singing and I saw her smile for the first time since her fall, but she deserved more than a song. I wasn't even sure that an apology was enough. No, I knew it wasn't. But I had to do it anyway. It had to be a start.

I waited around after our impromptu performance in the snow so I could talk to Marley. My stomach was tying knot after knot, reminding me of my guilt and the difficulty of saying 'I'm sorry.' I sat on the cold, concrete steps in order to stop myself from pacing, rubbing my hands together to keep warm. I watched as Jake nervously talked to her, fidgeting with his hands, but still managing to make her smile. I felt that pang of jealousy again, but this time it was different. He was gone and Marley was walking towards me before I had time to process it.

"Hey," she said, beginning to sit down.

I jumped up to stop her, "No, don't. It's cold."

We stood there for a minute, looking at each other without knowing what to say. It was freezing outside, but standing next to her, I felt her warmth radiating towards me. She looked cold; the combination of a flimsy jacket and no body fat certainly couldn't be good for this weather. I slipped off my Cheerios jacket without thinking and handed it to her. I was no longer warm and toasty, but the cold wasn't insufferable with all my layers.

"You don't have to-" she started.

"Just take it," I said, effectively cutting her off.

As she put on the jacket, I felt my apology being to creep up my throat. It burned, waiting to be released. I knew what I had to do, but I couldn't do it. Not yet.

"How are you getting home?" I asked instead. Everyone else had left and I was fairly certain she didn't have a car.

"Um, I was going to walk. I don't live too far," she responded, her eyes darting from mine to the ground.

She couldn't even look at me. The old Kitty would have been proud striking so much fear in another person, but the new Kitty felt ashamed.

"That's ridiculous. I'll drive you home," I decided.

Before she had the chance to say no, I took her hand and started walking towards the parking lot. The snow had left a powder all over the sidewalk and I could only imagine how wet her shoes would be if she walked home. I squeezed her hand, pleased with myself, and to my surprise, she squeezed back.

The jolt of energy that passed through my veins caused my heart rate to speed up. I convinced myself it was the cold and began to walk faster to the car. Marley kept up with me, not saying a word. When we got there, I instinctively reached in my pocket for my keys, but then remembered Marley was wearing my jacket. Standing at the driver's door, I turned to face her. Her eyes immediately looked down and that pang of guilt returned to my chest.

"You, um, have my keys," I stuttered out.

When she took her hand out of mine to explore my coat pockets, I missed the warmth more than I could describe. She pulled them out of my right pocket and handed them to me. The slightest brush of her fingers against mine canceled out the cold feeling of the metal keys. I lost myself in the feeling for a second before remembering that I should unlock the car. I clicked the button softly and climbed into and turned the key in the ignition. Marley made her way to the other side of the car and buckled herself into the passenger's seat.

We sat there quietly as the car warmed up. Now would be a great time to apologize, but I couldn't bring myself to ruin the somewhat peaceful moment we were sharing. I turned to her, wanting to say something important, but once again failed.

"Where do you live?" I asked.

I couldn't bring myself to do it. I listened as she gave me directions and made a mental note of where we were heading. The drive was awkward. We both knew that we weren't saying what we were thinking. Marley stared out the passenger window, avoiding looking at me at all and I kept my eyes focused on the road ahead. When we got to her street, she pointed out her house and I pulled into the driveway. The car was still idling when Marley opened the door to get out. I had to do something. She had to know how sorry I was.

"Wait!" I blurted out.

She closed the door and turned to me. "Sorry, where are my manners? Thank you for the ride Kitty. I appreciate it," she said, giving me the faintest smile.

"Don't apologize. I should be the one apologizing to you," I said, stalling.

"You don't have to," she responded in almost a whisper. Her eyes looked away from me again.

"Yes I do! I did this to you. This is all my fault!" I shouted. Old Kitty roared, needing things to go her way.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling and I'm sorry that I altered your Sandy costume," I began. She still wasn't looking at me.

"Please look at me," I begged. When her eyes met mine, I saw the tears and felt even worse.

"I am so sorry about what I did. I was so stupid and jealous," my shaky voice let out.

"You were jealous of me? You have everything." she whispered, tears rolling down her face.

"No, I don't. _You_ have everything. Your mom loves you, your voice is amazing, and you are beautiful, Marley," I explained, taking her hand once more. "I know what I did was awful, and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I am going to do everything I can to prove to you how sorry I am. This never should have happened."

I sat there while she processed what I said. She turned away from me and stared out the windshield. My heart was racing waiting for her response and I hoped my hand wasn't too sweaty since she still hadn't let it go.

"You'd do anything? We were barely even friends," she said, still looking forward.

"Anything you ask," I replied, ignoring the second part of her response.

She seemed hesitant, but slowly turned towards me. "Can you start giving me a ride home? I have to stay after school for sessions with Ms. Pillsbury three times a week and sometimes its dark when I leave. I hate making my mom wait."

"Of course," I nodded.

"Thanks. I hate the cold," she said, changing the somber mood to a more light one.

"Me too. Are you sure that's all you want?" I asked. This seemed too easy; I should have to work harder than simply driving her home from school.

"For now," she teased, squeezing my hand.

I did not understand this girl at all, but for some reason I liked that. She kept me on my toes, and while it made me nervous at times, it also made me excited.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" I asked.

Quinn had suggested I try and become friends with Marley so she could begin to trust me. It's not like I had any real friends, well not besides Gunner, so this was foreign to me, but I would try.

"Nothing?" she answered, unsure of herself.

"Wrong. You're coming over and we're having a sleepover. You can just come home with me after school."

Kitty in Charge was a Kitty I was good at. Friend Kitty was still in process.

"We can do whatever you want, okay?" I added, trying not to sound as bossy.

This seemed to help. I saw a spark of intrigue in Marley's eyes and felt a smile creep up on my face. I tried to hide it, feeling more vulnerable than I liked, but I knew she saw. Whatever, it's not like it mattered if she saw me smiling. We were going to be friends now. She could see me smile; it didn't mean anything, right?

"Well in that case, I hope you're ready for a marathon of Nicholas Sparks movies!" she exclaimed, squeezing my hand.

I groaned before I could catch myself. "You would force me to watch the sappiest movies on the planet."

"You said whatever I wanted!" she said, taking her hand out of mine to cross her arms and pout.

It was adorable.

Friends can think their friends are adorable, right?

"I know, I know. We'll watch all your ridiculous movies," I sighed, making a bigger deal of my concession than necessary.

She didn't say anything comprehensible, only shrieks escaped her lips. She threw her arms around me, and I melted.

People don't hug me. Not like this. Other Cheerios might try to quickly hug me in the hallway to boost their status as my "friend," but that was always more awkward than anything else. My parents aren't exactly affectionate; that would take too much time. Now I understood what all the fuss was about. I had never felt so… Calm? Safe? Warm?

"Thanks again," she said, pulling away. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I stuttered out a "yeah" as she climbed out of the car. I waited until she opened the door to drive away. She turned around to wave, knowing I would still be there. I waved back, hoping she wouldn't see the dopey grin on my face. I drove home slowly, trying to keep that warm feeling as long as possible.

As soon as I got to my house, I felt the cold. Figuratively, my house was always cold. My parents didn't rush to greet me at the door or ask me about my day. They were busy and knew I was self-sufficient. Literally, however, I realized that Marley still had my jacket.

I unlocked my phone as I walked up the stairs towards my room. I couldn't explain it, but I was glad to have a reason to text Marley.

_You never gave my jacket back!_

When I pressed send, I hoped she would understand the teasing nature of the text. I entered my room, flicked on the light, and set my phone down on my desk. Gunner soon followed, lying down at the end of my bed as I began to collect what I needed to complete my math homework. After I had gathered my book and calculator, I changed out of my Cheerios uniform, hanging it in a dry cleaning bag. I liked to be comfortable when I did homework, so I put on yoga pants and a simple blue v-neck. I sat criss-cross in my chair and had just started the first problem when Marley texted me back.

_I'm so sorry! I can bring it to you now!_

I smiled, knowing she would if I asked. _No, it's okay. Just make sure you bring it tomorrow :)_

I went back to the problem I was working on (invisible numbers are ridiculous) thinking the conversation was over. I had almost figured out how to balance the equation when my phone buzzed again.

_I can do that. Speaking of things to bring, which do you hate more, Dear John or A Walk to Remember?_

I couldn't tell if it was a trick question or not. Honestly, I hated them all, but A Walk to Remember had a gross sappy love story _and _death, making it my least favorite movie of all time. I sighed, deciding to answer honestly. All for the sake of friendship, right?

_Definitely A Walk To Remember._

Instead of staring at the equation I had just been solving, I started at my phone, waiting for her response. After three minutes had passed, I had all but given up on her texting me back and forced myself to try and concentrate on my homework.

When my phone buzzed a minute later, I was relieved. Something felt weird in my stomach. I told myself it was anxiety over having to watch awful movies and took a deep breath before opening the message.

_Looks like we'll be spending the evening with Landon and Jamie :) _

I scrunched my forehead in confusion before I realized that she must be referring to characters in the movie. I decided to tease her anyway.

_And here I was looking forward to an evening with Marley Rose. Too bad._

I smirked to myself before sending it. My math homework was never going to get done at this rate. I tried to tell myself my phone would buzz again whether I was paying attention or not, but I couldn't stop checking it.

_Lucky you, you get both!_

I put my phone on silent and forced myself not to text her back for the sake of my grades. I begrudgingly got back to my math homework, completing problem after problem until the set was done. Then I had to conjugate verbs for French and answer some questions on the book we were reading in English. It took forever, but eventually I finished.

When I was little, I used to run through the house looking for my parents to show them my hard work. They would glance over it quickly, telling me I did a good job and to always do my best. The thought of showing them my homework seemed ridiculous now, but at least I felt accomplished. I picked my phone up off my desk to check the time and saw I had another text from Marley.

_Sorry if that sounded weird. I'm just excited._

I quickly responded, hoping it wasn't too late.

_It's okay, really. I was just concentrating on my homework._

I hesitated, unsure if I needed to add something else. I contemplated putting something about being lucky in there; I didn't want to sound too eager, but I was happy to have something to do on a Friday night.

_I am lucky. I'll see you tomorrow_, I typed. I wish I had someone to ask, but my parents wouldn't know what to say and I'm sure Quinn was busy back at Yale. I walked over to my bed and consulted Gunner.

"What do you think, boy? Is this okay to send?" I asked, holding the phone in front of his face.

When he licked the screen, I took it as a yes and pressed send. I left my phone on my bed, trying to keep myself from fixating on it and started to get ready for bed. As I brushed my teeth, my mind wandered to tomorrow night and Marley coming over. The last time she was here, I was awful to her. This had to be different. She deserved better.

My heartbeat sped up as I finished up and headed back to bed. I turned off the lights got under my blankets before looking at my phone.

_Sweet dreams._

Tears welled in my eyes. My parents tucked me into bed until I was six. Then I was on my own. I know that they love me and will always do their best to provide what I need but this… This was different. This was better.

* * *

What do you think? Is Marley being too forgiving too fast? Let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all the feedback so far! Keep it coming!

* * *

I acted like a total spaz the entire day at school.

It was embarrassing. All I could think of was Marley coming over. A million questions ran through my mind, making it impossible to concentrate on whatever my teachers expected of me during class. What should I change into when we got to my house? What should we have for dinner? Was she going to be weird about eating? Would I be able to make it through that ridiculous movie without offending her? Does she like popcorn with butter or does she put something else on it? Does she wear matching pajamas? The question I kept returning to, however, scared me. Was she going to sleep in my bed with me?

I was busy thinking of Marley in my bed (Is she a cuddler? Do I want her to be?) during my Chemistry lab. I was lost in my thoughts of her sleeping habits when I tripped on a backpack strewn on the floor. Brittany, the only other Cheerio in the class, and by default, my lab partner, tried to catch me, but I slid backwards, breaking the beaker I had collected for our experiment. She offered me her hand and pulled me up while our teacher went to the supply closet to get a broom.

"I really need you to pay attention so I can pass this class and graduate," Brittany bluntly stated after I had brushed all the glass off my skirt.

"Sorry, I was just really distracted. I'll be a good lab partner now, I promise!" I said, smiling a little more than I usually did.

I immediately scolded myself, looking down at our worksheet on the black lab bench. She walked away, presumably to get another beaker, but with Brittany, it was always a guessing game. I desperately wanted to check the time, but I knew it would only get me thinking of Marley again and I had to get this assignment done.

"Why are you so happy?" Brittany innocently asked, placing a new beaker down in front of me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, avoiding eye contact. "Now we need to measure out 50 mL of-"

"You do too! Did Coach finally give you back your water privileges? Oh! Or did you win a radio contest?"

"Help me out! I thought you wanted to graduate!" I responded, dodging her questions.

I thought we had gotten back to work, but a few minutes later, she brought it up again.

"I know! You have a date tonight!" she exclaimed, looking very proud of herself.

My first thought was to respond by saying "I wish," but I managed to stop myself. I know I had to respond to Brittany, but I was so shocked at my immediate reaction. Marley is… well, a girl. And I'm not gay. So, I don't want to date her. Right? I'm just excited to have a friend for once, a real friend who actually cares about me. I didn't have time to think about this to the extent that I wanted to, and attempted to end the conversation with Brittany again.

"Can't I just be happy?" I asked, turning the questioning to her.

"Of course you can. A smile like that just means you're thinking of someone who makes you happy. Duh. If you don't want to tell me that's fine, but I'm really good at keeping secrets," she offered.

I had to smile. "We'll see how tonight goes and then maybe I'll let you know. Now can we finish up this lab?"

She nodded and we got back to work. Talking to Brittany wouldn't be so bad, if I actually had a crush on Marley, which I don't. But if I did (which I don't!), Brittany would understand. I shut out the thoughts and focused on the lab. I have no idea what we were supposed to accomplish, but apparently pouring different liquids into the same container makes them bubble and that's important for some reason. Clearly, I have no future in the field of Chemistry. We finished cleaning up just as the bell was ringing.

"Good luck tonight!" Brittany said, giving me a wink.

I almost wanted to tell her it wasn't like that, but got distracted by my phone buzzing. I pulled it out of my backpack and began to walk out of the classroom while reading it.

_I can't believe I'm having a sleepover with the head Cheerio today. You'd pinch me if I was dreaming, right? :)_

I felt that warm, funny feeling in my gut again. I tried to shake it off; Marley couldn't possibly be flirting with me. I was just reading it that way because Brittany thought I had a date tonight. It didn't mean anything. As I navigated through the crowded, noisy hallway to my locker, I wondered what to say back. I mindless turned my locker combination into the lock and popped it open. I put my Chemistry book away and was about to close my locker when WWQFD caught my eye. I remembered some of the advice she gave me when we spoke last week.

_You're not going to like this, but sometimes you have to be vulnerable around her. If you're anything like me… If you're anything like me, you probably a hard time opening up. You probably think feelings merely get in the way of whatever you're trying to accomplish. Trust me though, don't ignore them, don't keep them bottled up. I did and it's my biggest regret since graduation. _

Quinn told me to be honest, and while I wasn't going to tell Marley I was… confused about how she made me feel, I could at tell her that I was excited too.

_No need to pinch, you're not dreaming. Besides, I need you awake to distract me from the sap-fest of movies! :) I'll meet you at your locker after school. _

I tentatively inhaled as I pressed send. I looked at Quinn, convincing myself I did the right thing, and then closed my locker. I just had to make it through two more classes and I would be free. I exhaled, annoyed and turned on my heel toward my next class. There was nothing my teachers could do or say to interest me in their classes. The bell signaling the end of the day took its sweet time, but eventually rang, loud and clear.

I carelessly slid my notebook into my backpack and dashed to be the first one out the door. I immediately wished I knew which class Marley was in so I could meet her there. Instead, I got caught in the crowd. Becky ran up to me, informing me that Coach wanted me to change Robin's diaper before I left. I rolled my eyes, irritated at the disruption in my plan, and headed to the office. I changed the diaper at Olympic speed, tossing it in the trash before Coach could even look up from her diary to say anything.

The population of the halls had all but disappeared, but Marley was still there, waiting. She was pretending to reorganize her locker, and the reaching she was doing made her pink sweater ride up, exposing the most adorable dimples on her back. I felt a smirk forming on my lips and shook my head.

"Sorry, I had to change a diaper," I said as I approached.

She poked her head out of the locker and grinned. "And here I was thinking you stood me up," she responded. I couldn't help but smile and immediately blushing.

"Never," I promised. "Are you ready to go?" I asked, taking a step towards her and extending my hand.

"Yep! Oh, and here's this before I forget," she added, grabbing something from her locker. She handed me my Cheerios jacket, which I folded over my left arm, and took my right hand with her left. The warmth of her palm in mine shot butterflies through my body. I desperately wanted to intertwine our fingers, to be even closer, but it seemed too intimate. Still, I couldn't shake the thought, and the feeling stayed throughout the drive to my house.

When I parked my car in the drive way, I suddenly felt nervous. There was so much that could potentially go wrong. What if I said something mean? What if she got mad at me for hating the movie? What if she wouldn't eat?

What if she didn't want to hold my hand?

I had to stop before I gave myself a headache. I plastered a smile on my face and lead Marley into my house and up to my room. Gunner quietly followed us up, taking his usual spot at the end of my bed.

"And who is this?" Marley asked, sitting down and petting him behind the ears.

"That's Gunner," I responded. "I'm going to change really quick," I awkwardly added.

Marley didn't respond as I walked into my closet. I unzipped my Cheerios uniform, hanging it back in place and put my hands on my hips in an attempt to decide what to wear. As I stared at the contents of my closet, I peeked out to my room to see Marley contently petting my dog. I smiled, and turned back to the task at hand. I grabbed a pair of tights, despite my mother's insistence that tights are not pants, and shimmied them on. I settled on a loose fitting white Henley for a shirt and freed my hair from its pony prison before tugging the collar over my head. I pushed the sleeves up to my elbows before walking back out.

When she looked up at me, she had the strangest look on her face. I couldn't tell what it meant.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, worried I had already messed something up.

"No, you're just… never mind," she stuttered. "Everything is fine," she said, adding her signature smile.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think Marley was checking me out. But there was no way. She was probably just surprised to see me out of my uniform. That had to be it.

I sat down on the bed next to her, crossing my legs and reaching out to pet Gunner.

"He seems to like you," I offered, noticing the little licks happily placed on her hands and arms.

Do not get jealous of your dog, Kitty Wilde.

"Yeah? I've never had a dog before, but I really like them. I'm glad he likes me too!" she giggled, in the sweet way only she could.

"Well, if you ever are in need of some dog time, Gunner always appreciates the love," I said, fully aware that would mean Marley coming over to my house again.

We sat there, talking about insignificant things like pets and school until my parents got home. I learned that Marley's favorite class was English and that she despised math. When she was in second grade, she got to take her class hamster home, but that was the closest she ever got to a pet. I told her the Nolan Reed story and how I got Gunner, which made her laugh, even though it was mean.

"Kitty, we need to know what you girls want on your pizza!" my parents called up the stairs.

I had almost forgotten the whole eating disorder thing until my parents mentioned food. I immediately felt sick, the guilt for what I did churning in my stomach. My throat burned, needing to say something, anything, but unable to make a sound. Marley must have sensed my panic.

"It's okay. I'm doing better, really. Not perfect, but better," she said, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Promise?" I whispered.

She nodded and slid her hand down my arm until it met mine. I didn't know how many more times my body could handle the overwhelming warmth that took over me. I squeezed her hand and stood up. She flashed her million dollar smile at me and we headed downstairs. I reluctantly broke our hands at the bottom of the stairs before my parents could see. In the kitchen, the delivery menu lay open.

"Whatever you want," I told Marley, secretly hoping she wouldn't order anything with pineapple on it.

"Well, Hawaiian is always good, but I'm in the mood for mushrooms. Good?"

"Yep!" I said, internally sighing in relief.

My parents ordered the pizza and headed to their separate offices. Thankfully, Lima is a small town and the delivery guy was at our house within fifteen minutes. We both thanked my parents before taking the box that contained our pizza and heading back up to my room. I closed the door behind us, making sure Gunner had scampered in as well. I didn't want to make eating awkward, so I suggested we start a movie.

"That way, we're both doing something that makes us uncomfortable," I reasoned.

Marley fished through her backpack, and triumphantly held up the pink DVD case when she found what she was looking for. She handed it to me and I loaded it up, cheesy music and everything. We sat on the floor, backs leaning up against my bed. I opened the box of pizza and took a slice, trying not to make a big deal of anything or watch Marley too obviously. The movie was actually alright, until they started following in love.

I tried to hold back my disdain, I did.

But Marley saw the disgusted look on my face and reached over me to grab the remote and pause the movie. I raised an eyebrow at her, confused.

"How can you not think this is totally adorable?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips in an exaggerated manner.

"It's sappy and ridiculous. Stuff like this doesn't happen in real life," I responded, crossing my arms defensively.

"Oh?" she asked. "Well then, you have to promise you won't fall in love with me," she quoted, her blue eyes staring intently into my own.

I crossed my arms, looking away, unsure how to respond. "Unless you have leukemia, it doesn't have the same affect," I retorted, smirking.

She rolled her eyes and started the movie again. Every couple of minutes I would catch her looking at me and then quickly looking away. I didn't understand why. She looked… nervous? I didn't want to talk and ruin the movie, so I scooted closer to her and intertwined our fingers. I squeezed to let her know I was there for her and focused back on the movie.

"Thanks," she whispered, eyes ahead.

"For what?" I asked, slightly turning my head.

"I just get sad at this part and it's nice to have you close," she said, briefly looking at me and offering a small smile.

I was doomed. I liked Marley Rose. My body finally confirmed it by telling me to kiss her. I tried to smile and watch the movie, but my thoughts began to race. This wasn't possible. I didn't like girls and even if I did, she would never like me. Right?

This is what Quinn was talking about. Feelings. She must have had the same ones for Rachel Berry.

She said it was her only regret. Maybe it didn't have to be mine?

* * *

A bit of a cliffhanger? Give me your thoughts/ideas/concerns in the reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

This has been my favorite chapter to write since the first, so I hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

I didn't have time to grimace as Jamie and Landon had their ridiculous wedding. Nor did I have time to roll my eyes as she died. I especially didn't have time to scoff at the notion of Landon becoming a doctor or complain about the sappy music during the credits. No, my mind was in full panic mode.

I hoped my hand wasn't getting too sweaty in Marley's.

For the first time in my life, I felt something simply by being next to another person. My body never felt the urge to kiss anyone for anything but the power that came with popularity. Now I understood the butterflies, the warmth, and rapid heartbeat that came with wanting to be with someone. But why did it have to be her?

How demented was my heart? I tormented this girl until she had an eating disorder and now I liked her?

And since when do I like girls? Maybe it's not girls, just girl. Maybe it's not anybody, just Marley. How have I never felt this before?

I knew exactly why. I couldn't have felt like this before because there was no Marley before. There was no sweet blue eyed girl, determined to get what she wanted without hurting anyone along the way in my life until now. All the harm I did, the insults, the slushies, the eating disorder, none of it stopped her. None of it made her hate me. She still wanted to be my friend. She was so excited when we got to sing a duet together. I was so stupid for denying her friendship before. And now, now I wanted to kiss her.

Should I tell her? Quinn told me to be honest if I ever wanted to fix things. Building trust between us would take more than an apology. I had to be vulnerable. I had to be honest. Besides, she's like the nicest girl at school. She wouldn't hold it against me. Right?

This sleepover ended up being way more stressful than I planned.

Marley's sniffle snapped me back into reality. The movie must have ended and she was just sitting there crying. I squeezed her hand and she took it as an invitation to hug me. I felt the warmth of her body pressed close to mine, her arms around my neck and mine around her waist. I breathed in the faint smell of flowers and rubbed her back while she softly cried into my shoulder.

A minute later, she pulled away and I felt so cold. I wished we were in my bed instead of on the floor, but that probably wasn't the best of ideas considering my newly admitted crush. She wiped away the remaining tears and smiled.

"Have you ever been in love?" she asked.

Oh God.

"No," I quickly answered, hoping she didn't see my panic.

I don't love her. I don't even know what love is. I just like her. A lot.

"I think I was once, but I'm not sure," she said, answering her own question.

"Wait, so you're not in love with Jake? Or Ryder?" I asked, puzzled.

"No," she snorted. "They're both really nice and I like them, don't get me wrong, but love? Love is so much more. I don't even know why they like me," she trailed, looking down at her hands.

"Because you're beautiful," I said, without thinking.

"And kind, and you're a great singer," I quickly added.

Way to go, Kitty. Smooth.

"No," she said shaking her head. "That can't be it."

I stared at her in disbelief before remembering that I had made it my personal mission to tear down her self-esteem mere months ago. I felt like a jerk, but this wasn't about me. This was about Marley gaining some of her confidence back. But how?

"Nothing I say is going to change your mind?" I ask, shifting my body so we sat perpendicularly.

She shrugged her shoulders, not answering.

"Then I'll have to convince you," I confidently announced. I hummed, trying to think of what to say. "You have no idea how lucky you are to not be a Cheerio," I started, capturing her attention. "First off, you have great hair _and _you get to wear it however you want," I stated, earning a smirk. "You also have a great smile and you don't have to hide it behind a scowl. And, no matter what I said before, your mom does a pretty good job finding you nice clothes. As much power as the Cheerios uniform has to offer, wearing the same thing every single day gets old," I finished.

"Yeah?" she asked, unsure how to respond to my ramble.

"Marley, I wouldn't have been jealous of you getting the attention of the most popular guys at school if you weren't competition," I admitted. "Your big heart may make you beautiful on the inside, but that pretty face makes you beautiful on the outside too," I conceded, desperately trying to make my point.

Good lord, that was gay. I can say that now since I like a girl, right? Whatever.

I saw the faintest smile spread on her lips and I literally had to sit on my hands to stop myself from lunging at her.

"Thank you," she whispered, her eyes catching mine.

This time, I was the one to hug her. My arms wrapped themselves around her neck; I needed to feel as close to her as possible. Marley didn't say anything; she simply complied, pulling me in by the waist.

Neither one of us moved for what seemed hours.

Maybe she did like me too. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but the thought lingered in the back of my mind when I finally untangled myself from her. I had to see her face. I stood up, sore from the uncomfortable floor. The bed seemed like a much more comfortable alternative, so I decided to sit there, softly pushing Gunner to make room. He complied and Marley took the spot next to me. My legs dangled over the edge while she crossed hers towards me.

"Marley?" I hesitantly asked.

"Yeah?" she responded, her voice low with exhaustion.

"What if…" I started but lost my nerve. "If you liked someone, would you tell them?" I rephrased, looking down at my hands.

Her face responded in a strange way that I couldn't quite read. It couldn't have been panic, could it? I tried to convince myself that it was just because she was tired, but I recognized that gasp of trepidation.

"Um, well it depends?" she responded. "I'm not exactly known for being smooth," she added, laughing. She lost her balance and almost fell off the bed, proving her point and getting her started all over again. I placed my hand on her leg to steady her, instantly feeling the shock of butterflies I had become accustomed to.

I smiled, wishing I could laugh with her. "What would stop you?" I asked.

She sat there thinking while I internally yelled at myself for bringing up the subject in the first place. This was too much for one night. I pulled my legs up onto the bed and mirrored her.

"Well, I guess we're all afraid of being rejected. But life is about taking chances, right? So unless that person is going to hold it against you, I don't see why not. Most people are at least flattered at the notion, even if they don't return the feelings," she finished, looking pleased with herself.

I blinked and felt the tears well up in my eyes. Maybe I wasn't going to lose the only friend I had ever had because of stupid feelings. She just talked about being flattered after all. That didn't make what I just had to do an easier.

"So, you wouldn't freak out if I… if I told you that I have a crush… on you?" I stuttered out.

My face felt like it was on fire. My throat was burning. I could hear my heart beating loudly in my ears. I could only think of one other time I had ever been this nervous and that was during my Cheerios audition. At least I wasn't out of breath this time, though I felt just as sweaty.

"Really?" she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

All I could do was nod. I felt a couple of tears slide down my cheeks and before I could stop her, she was reaching towards me to brush them away.

"Okay," was all she said.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to stay if you don't feel comfortable. I wouldn't have asked you to spend the night had I known, but I like just figured this out during the movie. And I know it's so messed up, but I can't help it. I'm so sorry," I rambled in a panic.

I felt so stupid. I should have done what Quinn Fabray did instead of what she said. I could have managed a stupid feud over boys and an eventual friendship. This, this made me weak and vulnerable. This made me scared. I searched Marley's face for clues, hoping she would give something away without noticing it. When she finally spoke, her words took me by surprise.

"I like you too," she said, lifting my chin with her index finger so I was forced to look at her.

No way.

"Really?" I asked, feeling a slight déjà vu.

"Yeah. I never thought you… It doesn't matter. Wow. So this thing between us, you feel it too?" she asked.

"You're the only person who has ever made me feel this way," I admitted, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks.

Did I really get this lucky?

"As much as I would love to do something about this, about us, I can't," she said.

No, of course I didn't.

"At least not yet," she added.

"Because you don't trust me," I sighed.

I would ruin my first chance at being with someone who I really liked. The competitive nature my parents instilled in me did little for my chances at finding love. How was I supposed to know it would totally screw me?

"I'm beginning to, but no, I don't completely trust you. Yet. But I also want to get better first. I have to be healthy before I can be in a relationship," she explained.

I hated that it all made perfect sense.

"So what do we do until then?" I asked.

"You're going to keep picking me up after school and we're going to hang out and get to know each other. I'm going to call you on the bad days and you're going to help me feel better, just like tonight," she said, pulling my hands into her lap. She began to play with them as she continued, "We're going to be friends and it's going to be hard because we know there's something else there. But it'll all be worth it in the end. The first day I feel better, I swear, we can do something about this."

"The only flaw in your plan is that I'm going to want to kiss you every time I see you until that day," I said, smirking. "But I will do it because I do want to be with you. This will be good. It'll give me some time to figure stuff out."

"Great!" she said, pulling me towards her for a hug.

It didn't last long; I felt the urge to kiss her quickly and wanted to respect the boundaries she had just placed in front of me.

"Are you going to stay?" I asked as we pulled away.

"Friends have sleepovers all the time. Of course I'm going to stay. Just no hanky panky when we go to bed," she said, shaking her finger at me.

"I would never!" I gasped, laughing at her word choice. "Is kissing off the table?"

"I think it has to be; if I start kissing you, I don't know if I'd stop," she replied.

I crossed my arms and pouted. This sucked. I just went through all this trouble to admit I had feelings for this girl only to find out she liked me too and I couldn't kiss her. But, she was probably right. It would just make everything that much better when we could be together.

"Fine. Hand holding? Spooning?" I asked, hoping for some contact.

"Yes to both. Neither are gateway activities," she said, smirking.

I wanted to kiss that smirk right off her face.

* * *

A/N: I'm going on vacation for a week, so I might not be able to update in that time. I'll be back with another chapter as soon as I can!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: So sorry I have taken so long to update! I was on vacation and then I started a new job... But enough with the excuses. Onward to chapter five!

* * *

December was an interesting month.

To start, I nearly committed social suicide in an attempt to get everyone to stop making fun of Marley's mom on Monday.

In the lunch line, I heard some hockey players giving Mrs. Rose a hard time. I couldn't stand it. I cringed at the memory of my own hurtful words and decided it had to be stopped. She didn't deserve any of the mean comments we barreled at her; if anything, the cafeteria food had gotten much better since her arrival.

"Knock it off, Parker!" I shouted, pushing my way past a couple of freshmen. I stormed right into their faces and I could feel a rage pulsing through my veins. They were twice my size, but I had no problem making myself feel big since I was smarter than the two of them combined.

They were hurting Marley's mom, the kind woman who raised the sweetest girl in school. MI could only imagine how I would have felt if it had been Marley instead, though I knew it would be physical. Marley would not condone that amount of violence.

"Kitty, we were just having a little fun," the boy explained. "We were explaining to her that the whale's natural habitat is not the cafeteria, but the-"

"I said, knock it off," I said, grabbing the front of his letterman's jacket.

He looked surprised, as did many of the other students who gathered around us. My hands balled into fists around the scratchy felt of his jacket as I glared at him. He stared back, but only for a few seconds before looking away. When he caught my eye again, he gave me a devilish smirk.

"Why should I?" he asked, challenging my authority.

"Because. I. Said. So," I growled, pulling him closer. "In case you've forgotten, I'm a Cheerio and that means I'm on top. What I say goes."

I released him with a little shove and he whimpered out a small apology before grabbing his tray and leaving. The crowd dispersed, though the cafeteria was a buzz. No one knew why, but Mrs. Rose was now off limits. No one dared question Kitty Wilde.

"Why did you do that?"

I whipped around to see Mrs. Rose's mouth slightly agape in shock. I didn't know what all Marley had told her mother, so I decided to play it safe with my answer. I suddenly felt bashful, but hoped to make a good new impression.

"What I did in the past was really horrible and I'm sorry for that. Marley has been such a good friend to me, even when I didn't deserve it, and I just want to show my gratitude," I said, offering a small smile.

All she did was nod.

The next day, the jokes had completely stopped. In the next week, Marley seemed to be doing much better, in part because of counseling, but also because school was a happier place to be. Without people making fun of her mom, Marley's smile came back. I was feeling much happier and nicer than usual (weird) too, but that was almost ruined on Friday before last period.

I had just closed my locker when I saw Jake walk up to Marley. I felt a pang of jealousy and tried not to stare. I could see both of their profiles from across the hall, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. When Jake first approached her, he was smiling. Then, he stuck his hands in his pockets and looked a little shy. I knew he was asking her out and it made me sick to my stomach, but I couldn't look away. She pushed her hair behind her ear, and gave him a smile, but not a big one. Not soon after, he walked away and I had no idea what I had just witnessed.

My legs didn't want to take me to class, instead they headed straight towards Marley. My body would have been drawn towards her no matter what. Even though I could barely touch her, I always wanted to be near, just in case.

"What were you and Jake talking about?" I asked without thinking. It probably sounded demanding and I immediately regretted it.

I could feel my stomach tie knots around itself in the time it took her to respond. She fidgeted with drawstrings of her yellow hoodie and bit her lip, increasing my panic tenfold.

"Don't get mad," she started, meeting my eyes only long enough to see me nod in agreement. "He asked me to go on a date with him to the movies this weekend."

"I knew it!" I responded, throwing my arms up in the air. I immediately felt embarrassed, hoping no one else saw. I didn't know what Marley was going to say next; we weren't dating, so she technically had the right to do whatever she wanted.

"But," she added, "I said no and that I was interested in someone else."

I looked up at her and she smiled at me. I could feel myself licking my lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss her, before having to restrain myself.

"I hate you for not letting me kiss you," I said, shaking my head.

"You think this is easy for me? You're so cute when you're jealous," she teased.

I could feel a blush creep across my cheeks. I felt so lucky to have Marley in my life. I walked her to class, not caring that I would certainly be late to English. The extra time with her was always worth it and put me in a much better mood for last period.

While waiting for Marley to get better, I had a lot of time to think about us and what that meant. I never thought I would be attracted to a girl, but I had never been attracted to _anyone_ in the way I was attracted to her. I searched the internet for answers, only leaving with more questions. I wanted a word to call myself so that I could tell my parents, but I just couldn't find one. If there was one thing I learned in my internet search, it was that I got to choose how I identify and that it is not a process I have to rush.

I decided to tell my parents without a label. I hoped that once Marley got better and we started dating that it would be serious, and being serious meant being around each other's families. I wasn't quite sure how my parents would react, but I wanted to be honest with them.

I pushed around the peas on my plate, feeling a burn creeping up my neck. The words I wanted to say burned in my throat, waiting for release. I took a deep breath before looking up at my parents.

"I have something I need to tell you, but I'm not sure how," I trailed.

"What is it sweetheart?" my mother asked, putting down her fork to give me her attention.

"Well, I um- I don't know what to say exactly, but I… I like someone. A girl. We're not dating yet, but I hope we will be soon," I shakily let out. My heart was beating so quickly I thought it would surely burst out of my chest.

"Is this girl going to make your grades slip?" my father asked.

"No, of course not!" I promised.

"Well, okay then," he responded, focusing his attention back on the remainder of his dinner. I should have known that it wouldn't faze my parents unless it would interfere with my future success.

"You know, we've had some very successful lesbians at the firm," my mother added. "They are very ambitious, probably because they don't care what anyone thinks of them."

"Co-ol," I said, my voice cracking the word in half. I gave her a faint smile and was thankful the ordeal was over with.

When dinner was over, I excused myself and headed up to my room. I was more excited than I thought I would be that my parents reacted well to my news. The smile on my face was plastered there and I decided to share the good news with Marley.

_Me: I told my parents that I like a girl at dinner…_

I pressed send and flopped down on my bed. I could feel excited energy pulsing through my body and couldn't remain lying down. I hopped up and crossed my room to the iHome sitting on my desk. I scrolled through the playlists on my iPod until I found the mix I was looking for. My room quickly filled with pop music and I began to dance around with the finesse of a five year old. I ran around the room, jumping on the bed, dramatically pointing and swaying my hips. I was happy; my parents didn't think dating Marley would interfere with my future which was the most sincere blessing they could ever give me.

Now I just needed her to get better so we could actually start the dating part.

As the song wound down, I remembered I had texted Marley and spun myself onto my bed to grab it. With my legs kicking underneath me, I opened the message. It was hard to read at first with my body shaking all over the place, so I forced myself to stop so I could focus.

_Marley: Oh? :) How did that go?_

I smirked as I typed my response.

_Me: They think I have a bright future as a power lesbian ahead of me. _

When the next song started, I realized how impatient my body was growing waiting to be near Marley. It had only been two weeks and I knew it was going to take more time, but part of me couldn't help but want to kiss her every time I was around her. It was my own fault, which made it even worse.

Karma was a royal bitch.

* * *

I'm thinking about three more chapters. Hopefully you all forgive me and come back to read and review all of them!


	6. Chapter 6

So sorry for the delay. I wrote an extra long chapter to make up for it. :)

* * *

Finals week dragged on for what seemed like a century.

I wanted to prove to my parents that Marley wouldn't hurt my grades, so I was studying even more than I normally would. After school, I would drop Marley off at her house and get straight to studying. I would have much rather spent more time with her, but I had a few grades on the A/B borderline and couldn't risk it. I just had to get through the week and then we would have two weeks off for winter break. Two weeks together to do whatever she wanted.

Hopefully that meant finally kissing her.

In the mean time, I was a hot bitchy mess. During Cheerios practice, one of the girls almost dropped me and I screamed at her until she cried. Later that week, I walked into my math class and slipped on the floor; someone had buttered it after hearing we'd be having a substitute. The rest of the class quickly pointed him out and by the time the teacher arrived, I had the kid pinned up against the wall. It took three football players to drag me away from him. My voice was hoarse from all the screaming I had been doing. Marley tried to give me some tea after hearing me cough on the way home, but I politely declined because I am an American who respects the Boston Tea Party (not the other one).

I could not shake the grumpy feeling and was even short tempered with Brittany while we were studying for Chemistry. We had been sitting in my living room for over an hour trying to get through our study guide. My butt was falling asleep from sitting on the floor around the coffee table for so long and Brittany was not understanding the problem we were working on at all. I snapped at her after she had asked me explain the same question for the third time.

"Why don't you just copy mine and we can get this over with?" I said, standing up to stretch out.

"Because I wouldn't learn anything that way, duh," she responded matter-of-factly. She paused for a second before adding, "What's your deal? Did someone take your action figure collection?"

She looked at me with her sweet sincerity and I couldn't help but let go of the laugh that bubbled behind my lips. I had been taking everything so seriously lately and it felt good to let go for a second.

"No," I answered, shaking my head. "I've just been stressed for finals."

"And you're not getting any sweet lady kisses," she offered, nonchalantly scribbling down the correct answer to the problem I had been working on for five minutes.

"That too," I agreed, shaking my head. I had never explicitly told Brittany, but it didn't surprise me that she had figured it all out. I looked up from my study guide and smiled. Brittany rolled her eyes at me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What's the hold up? You're both totally into each other," she asked.

"She wanted to wait," I started, contemplating how to finish my sentence. "She wanted to feel better before anything happened between us."

"Oh. Well, hopefully that will be soon. Winter is the most romantic time of year," she responded with a wink.

We flew through the rest of the study guide. It felt wrong to be happy that Brittany had to repeat her senior year, but if she hadn't, we never would have been friends.

I was a little calmer for the rest of the week and made it through my tests without winding up in Figgins' office for assault. There were some close calls with Cameron the Cougher and Murray the Mouth-Breather, but my death glares seemed to do the trick. When the bell rang, signaling the end of our last final, I wave of relief pulsed through my body.

I bolted out the door and to Marley's class, hoping I would be able to get her before she walked out the door. I don't know why it was so important to me, but maybe she would think it was romantic and finally kiss me. I was five feet away when she walked out and saw me.

Great. Now I looked like a total nerd.

"Did you run here?" she asked, approaching me with a smile quickly spreading across her face.

"No, definitely not," I responded, thankful that I wasn't out of breath.

"Uh huh, if you say so," she teased, taking my hand and leading us towards her locker. I instantly felt the butterflies stir in my stomach at her touch. When we arrived at her locker, I tried to act cool and leaned up against the wall and crossed my arms. Everyone around us was frenzied, wanting to get out of the building as soon as possible, but she took her time. The halls had emptied by the time she had put everything away and wrote some reminders down on her whiteboard.

"What do you want to do for break?" she asked as she closed her locker. We began walking to the parking lot, walking just a little too close so our hands would brush with every other step. I was simultaneously thankful for the contact and frustrated that it still hadn't gotten any further.

I almost said "you," but refrained. "That depends. How free are you going to be?" I responded, pushing open the door and feeling the bitter chill of the Ohio winter.

"I don't have any plans. I know my mom will want to do some Christmas-y things, but I should be pretty free otherwise."

I nodded as I fished my keys out of my bag. I wish I hadn't gotten so caught up in studying for finals; I could have at least looked into something for us to do over break. I made a mental note to do some research as soon as possible. I unlocked the car and we both got in, thankful to escape the cold. I started the car and was thankful for my heater quickly warming us up. Marley sang along with the radio as we drove to her house.

I didn't want to leave when I pulled into her driveway, so I was thankful when she asked me if I wanted to come in. I was a little surprised; we had always hung out at my house in the past, but I just wanted to spend time with her.

Mrs. Rose met us with a plate of cookies and small talk about our finals. I was happy to see Marley to eat two cookies before leading me to her room. It was exciting finally seeing where she lived.

"It's not much," she said gesturing to her room.

"Stop," I said in the most reassuring manner I could. "I love it."

Sure it was small, but it was so Marley. She even had a hat rack. She sat on the bed, a twin with simple purple bedding, and patted a spot next to her. I wanted to keep looking around, especially at the pictures that seemed to be everywhere, but I obliged, knowing there would always be time to look later.

"Are you glad finals are over?" I asked, unsure of what to do. Being this close to her was impossibly hard. It would be so easy to just lean in and capture her lips with mine.

She nodded, "Yeah, but I'm exhausted. I was up a little late studying for my math final."

"Do you want me to go so you can sleep?" I asked, trying to give her an out.

"I want to sleep… but I don't want you to leave," she replied, looking nervous.

"What do you propose?" I asked, wondering where she was going.

"Will you hold me?" she innocently suggested.

I nervously gulped while I nodded. I kicked off my shoes and positioned myself flat on the bed. She curled into my side and positioned her head between my shoulder and my chest. She mumbled a thank you and quickly fell asleep. It felt so right and I couldn't bring myself to care that she would probably drool on my Cheerios uniform. She looked so peaceful and I couldn't help myself from planting a soft kiss on her temple.

I wasn't tired, so I began to search for the perfect date on my phone. After remembering that Lima was the most boring town in the world, I expanded my search beyond city limits. Columbus was a little less than two hours away and offered much more. I scrolled through museums, art galleries, and restaurants until I found the perfect date. The only tickets available were for Christmas Eve, three days from now, but I went ahead and got them and had them expedited to my house.

My timing was perfect; just as I closed my browser, Marley woke up.

"Hey sleepyhead," I teased.

"Sorry," she apologized. She made no effort to remove herself from on top of me. I smiled, knowing that I had proved that she could trust me enough for us to get to this point. We were so close, I could feel it.

"You'd better get up or I'm going to have to kiss you," I warned.

"Ew, I have sleepy breath!" she exclaimed, exaggerating how appalled she was. She took her time picking herself up, and my body felt cold at the loss of contact. She walked over to her dresser and picked up her brush. "What did you do while I was asleep?" she asked as she began to fix her hair.

"I can't tell you. It's a secret," I teased. "Just make sure you keep Christmas Eve available for me."

"Fine," she said, playfully rolling her eyes.

I didn't stay much longer; I had to go home before my parents forgot to feed Gunner and he tore my slippers apart. Marley pulled me in for a hug before letting me leave.

"I will see you soon, I promise," I whispered into her ear, pulling away.

I forced myself to get into my car and drive home. My parents had already checked my grades online and congratulated me on a semester of straight A's as I walked in the door. We went out to dinner and they both turned their phones off until we left the restaurant. It felt good to know that they were proud of me and I didn't have to hurt anyone in the process.

The next morning, I decided to go on a jog with Gunner. I quickly slipped out of my pajamas and put on a pair of running tights and a red fleece jacket. Gunner was more than excited to get out of the house and run with me. I usually stopped by the Lima Bean as a pit-stop and decided to pick up some breakfast. As I was tying up Gunner outside, I realized how close I was to Marley's house.

"Should we take Marley some breakfast?" I asked my trusty companion.

Gunner responded with a loud bark, which I took as a yes. I walked in, thankful that it was still early enough that there wasn't much of a line. I contemplated what to get, taking into consideration that I really only had one hand to carry it. I settled on bagels and hoping Marley and her mother liked them. It wasn't until the barista handed me the bag that I realized how hungry I was. I quickly exited and untied Gunner. I picked up the pace of my jog and arrived a Marley's house in less than five minutes. I probably looked like a hot sweaty mess when Marley opened the door.

"Kitty! What are you doing here?" she asked, still in her pajamas. I tried not to stare, but she wasn't wearing a bra and it was distracting.

"Well Gunner and I were on a run and we thought it would be nice to bring you some breakfast. I hope you like bagels," I said, holding up the bag. "Where should I tie up Gunner?"

"Don't be silly, you can bring him in," she insisted.

I walked into Marley's house for the second time, this time with my dog. Mrs. Rose was sitting at the table reading the newspaper and Marley sat down next to her, gesturing for me to take a seat as well. I sat down and Gunner to the hint and settled himself on the floor.

"I got asiago, cinnamon, and plain," I said, hoping they wouldn't take the cinnamon since it was my favorite.

"This was very nice of you Kitty," Mrs. Rose said, taking the plain bagel.

"It's really no trouble," I responded, smiling at Marley whose brow was furrowed in contemplation. She finally settled on the asiago and I internally patted myself on the back for making good bagel choices.

"What are your plans for today?" Marley asked, taking a bite of her bagel.

"I was hoping you would let me take you to the mall," I answered.

"And why would you want to do that?" she questioned, intrigued.

"Well that is for me to know and you to find out!" I teased.

She agreed and we finished our breakfast with a silly debate of the best disco band of all time (obviously the Bee Gees). It was decided that I would come back in an hour so that we could both shower before heading out. Marley planted a big kiss on the top of Gunner's head before leaving.

"Not fair," I whined in the doorway.

"Neither is you being so secretive," she retorted.

On the jog back to my house, I tried not to be too jealous of my dog. I dashed up the stairs once we got home and got straight into the shower. I got ready quickly, from the shower into a pair of jeans, though I did take a few minutes to decide what top to wear. I decided on a blue and grey stripped sweater and almost tripped trying to walk and pull it over my head at the same time. I decided to go light on makeup to save time and was done in record time.

I yelled to my parents that I was leaving as I was walking out the door and headed back to Marley's house. This time, she answered the door in khakis and a purple plaid shirt and I did not step foot in the house.

"Are you going to give me any hints about what we're doing today?" she asked as we climbed into my car.

"Maybe," I teased, turning up the radio.

She crossed her arms and began to pout but I did my best to ignore her. It was difficult to find a parking spot once we pulled up to the mall since it was so close to Christmas, but Marley decided to stop pouting and helped me find a good one. As we walked in, we were overwhelmed by everything Christmas; not only was there a mile long line for Santa, but just about everything had candy canes or gingerbread men on it. Marley silently followed me up to my favorite dress store upstairs.

"Why are we here?" Marley asked, taking interest in my surprise.

"You need a dress for our date Monday," I responded, heading to the racks.

"I have dresses," she questioned, trying to get more information out of me.

"Well this one should be special," I retorted, beginning to sift through the dresses.

She huffed. She might have even puffed. I almost made a comment about her being able to blow a house down, but I decided not to take my chances. Instead I focused on the task at hand and eventually she did too. Every now and then we would hold different dresses up to each other, but we never seemed to be on the same page.

"I give up," Marley sighed after we had gone through three racks each. I didn't think it was going to take this long, but I was not about to give up. The perfect dress had to be here; we just hadn't found it yet.

"Just one more rack," I bargained, hoping it would magically be there.

We started on the same side of the rack and headed in opposite directions in the middle. This one had some of the ugliest ones yet. Some of them looked like they belonged in my parents' high school yearbooks. We had almost met back up when I saw it.

"This is it. This is the one," I said, holding up the dress.

It was a sleeveless dress, with a champagne colored top. Black lace was stitched across the front and the bottom was a simple black pleated skirt. It was perfect.

She rolled her eyes at me, but took it into the dressing room anyway. I followed her, pleased with myself and sat down on the bench next to the mirrors. After a minute, I began to tap my foot impatiently.

"Is everything alright in there?" I asked.

Oh God, what if I triggered her eating disorder or something and now she was feeling fat? I didn't even look at the size of the dress before handing it to her.

All my fears were calmed when she stepped out.

"How did you know? It really is perfect," she said, twirling in front of the mirror.

She looked gorgeous. I knew Marley was a pretty girl from the moment I saw her, but in this dress, she was a knockout.

"I'm glad you like it," I said, trying to keep my cool.

"You must be taking me somewhere awfully nice for me to need a dress like this," she wondered out loud.

"You'll find out on Monday. Now go change so we can get out of here!"

Marley obliged, quickly changing. I paid for the dress and get out of the mall as soon as possible. I dropped her off and told her I would see her Monday at 4:30 before driving home. I couldn't risk seeing her before then; I didn't want to spoil her surprise.

I spent the next couple of days at home catching up on reading, cleaning out my closet, and watching TV. Marley would text me and call me, desperate to find out what we were doing, but I wouldn't budge. When Monday finally rolled around, I was more than ready to get out of the house. The tickets barely made it on time, but I had them in my hand as I yelled to my parents that I was leaving for the night.

I chose to wear a dark green dress the fell right about my knees, cut to make my boobs look great. I added light curls to my hair to give it some volume and made sure plenty of attention would be on my now perfectly pink lips. In the back of my mind, I was hoping tonight would be the night Marley would finally kiss me and if not, I at least wanted to make the offer tempting.

The route to Marley's house was becoming more and more of a mindless activity and I pulled into the driveway without much thought. As I strode up to her door, I made sure the skirt of my dress was straight and knocked.

I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped at the sight of Marley when she opened the door.

She looked absolutely stunning.

After promising her mom she would be back safe by midnight and letting her take a few pictures, we were on our way.

"Where are we going?" Marley asked as I got on the highway.

"Columbus," I said, finally conceding part of the surprise.

"What?!" she exclaimed.

"I can't think of a single thing in Lima that would require you to a wear a dress like that," I retorted.

"Why won't you just tell me? I'm obviously going no matter what," she sighed.

"Please trust me. I really want tonight to be special," I begged, taking her hand into mine. It seemed to do the trick and she stopped asking questions. Since I refused to talk, she decided we had to at least sing, though she changed the radio station every time a song she didn't like came on. It was cute.

When we got to Columbus, I navigated around the big city like a boss. I almost got us lost once, but didn't tell Marley because I could see her excitement growing as we neared our destination. Finally, I got us to our destination and I knew I had made a good decision.

"The Palace Theater? The Palace Theater?" she asked twice, in disbelief.

"Yep," I nodded, holding up two tickets.

"Beauty and the Beast!" she screamed. "This was my favorite Disney movie growing up! How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," I offered, getting out of the car.

As we walked through the doors, Marley looked around in awe. An usher took our tickets and led us to our seats. We were at the end of the aisle, but in the middle section still, so we had a good view of the stage.

"I've never been to a show like this before," Marley admitted as we sat down.

"I'm glad I can be her for your first time," I said with a wink.

When the orchestra swelled, she took my hand and placed it in her lap. The story was never my favorite, but being here with Marley gave it a new meaning. The last time I had watched the movie, I thought Belle was an idiot for falling in love with someone who had treated her so poorly. Maybe that was the case, but now I saw it a little differently. Now I understood the Beast's shame and need for forgiveness. Now I understood how important love was.

Marley was the first person to stand in ovation for the cast. She had loved every minute of it. I couldn't help but feel happy for contributing to her happiness. When she went to the bathroom, I snuck over to the merchandise table and got her a poster signed by the cast. I wanted her to always remember this night.

As we walked out to the car, she surprised me by not only taking my hand, but intertwining our fingers. Usually when we held hands, it was palm to palm, intimate but not too intimate. This was different. When we got to the car, I didn't want to let go. I missed the closeness of it all immediately but she quickly reconnected our hands once I started the car. I thought ahead and put the soundtrack in my car before leaving so she got to sing all the songs on the way back home.

I didn't want the night to end, but when we got back to Lima, it was 11:45 and I had promised Mrs. Rose to have her daughter back by midnight. When we pulled into the driveway, that 15 minutes had turned into 5.

"I can't believe it's over," Marley sighed as we idled.

"Was it worth the wait?" I asked.

"Best night of my life," she responded, leaning towards me.

I closed my eyes, trying to convince myself not to lean in when I felt Marley's lips on mine. All the butterflies that had been residing in my stomach exploded, turning into fireworks as her soft lips pressed into mine. I instantly wrapped my arm around her neck to pull her closer, taking her bottom lip into my mouth to deepen the kiss.

It was worth every second I spent waiting it.

"I have to go," she said, pulling away. "Thank you so much for everything tonight. It's a first date for the history books."

"So does that mean-" I began to ask, but she cut me off the a chaste kiss.

"Merry Christmas, girlfriend."

* * *

I hope it was worth the wait! Let me know what you thought!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm so sorry this has taken so long to update. I stopped watching Glee and it's been hard to find inspiration. But, here it is, the concluding chapter of Guilty! I hope you enjoy.

* * *

When school started in September, I was a different person.

I was ruthless, willing to do anything to protect the social hierarchy of McKinley. My classmates feared me and my teammates admired me, but I had no friends. Football players laughed at my jokes about the new lunch lady and her daughter. Marley stood up to me and I couldn't stand her.

I made it my mission to teach her how things worked. She couldn't just stroll into _my _school and steal the attention of two cute boys. I started to call her names, but it didn't seem to make much of a difference. Slushies soon followed, but it never stopped her. Her smile came back every time. I had to do something bigger.

In October, I made the worst decision of my life.

I was getting annoyed. Marley wasn't backing down. If anything, a love triangle had started between her, Jake, and Ryder. No one was even paying attention to me anymore. I was a Cheerio, and she was just in Glee Club. But, it didn't seem to matter. I had to step up my game if my delusional state of normal was to be restored.

I tricked Marley into an eating disorder by altering her costume for the school play. She was crushed every time Tina complained that the zipper wouldn't go up. I had originally seen this as my greatest accomplishment. Marley was broken and wouldn't be able to steal the attention of the boys who should have been looking at me. All she could think about was her weight, causing her smile to slowly fade away.

In November, I realized I had made the biggest mistake in my life.

Marley collapsed on the stage because of _me_. I couldn't breathe. It was all my fault. I was jealous and mean. No one expected anything different, but that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part of all, the part the made me sick to my stomach, was that she didn't even blame me. She forgave me so easily.

In December, I got a second chance.

Once we began to spend time together, I realized she was the best person I knew. Not because she forgave me, she just was. She loved sappy movies and petting my dog. I started to fall in love with her. Before Marley, I didn't even think love was a real thing. Even while it was happening, I didn't think I deserved it, especially with her.

But then, Marley kissed me and changed my mind. I didn't have to be that cutthroat person my parents had trained me to be. Other people didn't exist solely as obstacles on my path to success. Marley couldn't be an obstacle, especially when she made me feel so… I don't know, warm, calm, good, something like that.

In January, I felt confident.

The first day back, I walked into the school with Marley on my arm and watched as jaws dropped along the way. I wanted to smirk, but I was too nervous. When we arrived at Marley's locker, I surveyed the hallway. I was a little surprised (and maybe disappointed) that no one was really paying attention. I crossed my arms and leaned against the cool locker doors, trying to look nonchalant.

"Are all the cheerleaders here gay?" I overheard a freshman ask a couple of his friends.

"I'm starting to think so. Maybe they should be called the Queerios," one of his friends responded, laughing at his own joke.

I started to laugh; I couldn't help it. Marley closed her locker and gave me a confused look.

"Did I miss something?" she asked.

"Queerios," was all I get out between giggles. "I'll see you at lunch," I said, giving her a quick peck on the lips.

I told Brittany about the nickname for our team during Chemistry and she thought it was even funnier than I did.

"That's awesome. And I'm glad things worked out for you and Marley," she said with a wink.

In Glee Club, Marley dragged me out of the bleachers to tell our friends about our relationship. The news was met with claps and cheers from most of the members, though Jake and Ryder shared a puzzled response. Things almost got awkward, but thankfully Artie broke the tension.

"Aren't you guys going to sing a song?" he asked.

I snorted. "We're no Finchel, thank you very much."

I sat down and Brittany high-fived me. Marley rolled her eyes and Finn turned a little pale. It was a great day.

Now it's February, and I know I'm in love.

I can't describe it, but I know it's true. I'm happy. Being with Marley makes me better. I was so naïve to think I had it all before. But I have finally learned something my parents could never teach me; I have learned to love. Not only to take it, but to give it. Only being with Marley could have done that. I don't know if I can ever tell her just how much she means to me.

But I plan to try. Tonight I'll tell her those three words for the first time and I can't wait to see her face light up at their sound. She knows I've never said them before; it's like all my life they've been waiting for her to release them. After that, I'll have to prove it to her every day. I know it won't always be easy, but she deserves it. She deserves all the good I have in my heart.

She texts me to make sure we're still meeting at my place at 7 to do math homework. I know it's not the most romantic time to say it, but it doesn't matter because it's the right time. I text her back with a yes and a smiley face before frantically cleaning my room. Gunner lies at the end of my bed, his eyes following me around the room. I smile, knowing he has been there for me this whole time.

As 7 grows closer, I stop in front of the mirror. I move a stray hair out of my face and smile at my reflection. This is it. This is the day; the one that I never believed existed in September.

I hear a knock on the door and run down the stairs. On the other side of the door is the girl who changed my life. I take a breath before opening it. There she is. Her hair is down, long and wavy, resting on top of her pink sweater, the one she was wearing the day I realized I wanted to be more than friends.

"I love you," I blurt out. I can't help it.

"I love you too."

* * *

Thank you for reading! I quite enjoyed writing this for you all. Leave a review if you have time. :)


End file.
